If you have followed the exploits of Chris Froome over the last couple of weeks, you can't help but have noticed some of the sites of France: Mont St Michel, the majestic Alpine peaks, the Bijou rural villages, the bozos running along the roads with demented glee and the occasional bottle of piddle. Yes, the Tour de France is not just a gruelling sporting odyssey but also a wonderful marketing showcase for the French tourism board: the only surprise was that the organisers didn't arrange for the route to go past the training grounds of Paris Saint-Germain or Monaco to flaunt the world-class footballers that the pair are hoarding. But while PSG and Monaco swank it up, that is not the case for other clubs in Ligue 1 - indeed, two of the biggest, Marseille and Lyon, have become so desperate for lolly that they've sent two of their best-paid strikers wandering around Europe with sandwich boards advertising their availability.
Given how mighty Lyon one were, and how often chairmen complain about lack of loyalty, it has been instructive and pathetic to watch Lyon chairman Jean-Michel Aulas spend much of this summer publicly pleading with Bafetimbi Gomis to leave and ridiculing him for insisting on serving the lat year of his contract unless something more enticing comes along. Cardiff and Hull sniffed around but Gomis turned up his nose at them, causing Aulas to shed even more dignity.
But now a saviour has emerged for the fallen French aristocrat - and that latter-day scarlet pimpernel is, of course, Alan Pardew. With Papiss Cissé on the way out, possibly to Borussia Dortmund Newcastle are prepared to take Gomis off Lyon's hands and Gomis is actually quite keen on the move. The only snag is that Pardew hasn't yet decided which French striker to rescue, as he's debating between Gomis and Andre-Pierre Gignac, whom Marseille are eager to get off the wage bill. With Newcastle in a strong negotiating position, they may just take both.
But who would bet against Arsenal making a late bid for them? It's not hard to see Arsène Wenger insisting a handy signing from Ligue 1 is a more astute acquisition than any of the top strikers he's been linked with this summer. Gonzalo Higuaín, and millions of Gooners, hopes that's just a bad joke and Arsenal are going to go back to Real Madrid with an offer closer to the £30m that Napoli have tendered, or back to back to Anfield with an offer for Luis Suárez Liverpool can't refuse. For now, though, all we're hearing is that Wenger is browsing around Ashley Williams again. The Sex Pistols were wrong about Arsenal: their future dream is a window shopping spree.
Is there an inherent arrogance among London clubs that makes them think players will be lured there just because they're in the capital? You'll note that Tottenham are still sans striker. Word is they're still willing Roberto Soldado to walk their way, but now Liverpool are making a move on the Valencia man too.
Hamburg are preparing a £6m bid for the player Everton fans dub the Croatian Torres. After startign his Eveton career like a whirlwind, Nikica Jelavic looks set to leave with whimper.
Scott Parker looks set to scurry back to West Ham. Évian is the source of the midfielder Mohammed Rabiu, who is being eyed up by Fulham. Juventus are trying to convince Manchester City that Aleksandr Kolarov is rubbish and the Italians would be doing City a favour by taking him off their hands. City are wondering why Juve would want to do that. That's haggling, folks.
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